Running away :)

I know, I know, I didn't post last week, sorryyyy. No excuses, other than, I've been busy - if I haven't already made that clear ;)

Still, no freaking change. I'm beyond frustrated. I told myself I wouldn't be, but come on, now, it's been like 3 months since I've been on a losing streak. Granted, I had beginners luck, but my luck as run out and now I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. BUT, I only gained like 2 pounds over Thanksgiving and I managed to lose those! That's a win.

I've been on my antidepressant meds long enough for them to be well into my system, and I suppose they're working, I'm not really sure to be quite honest. At Thanksgiving with my wonderful family one of my aunts who is also a nurse and, might I add, faithful WIW follower :) suggested that I have my Vitamin D levels checked as most people have a defficiency and this affects a LOT of things including depression/mood/what have you.

That Sunday I went to Planet Nutrition (can I get a discount??.. wait, I already do!) and got liquid Vitamin D-3, which, is gross in liquid form but that's the only choice I have, so I plug my nose! I take 5,000IU/week, 4 drops is a daily dose, not bad! I'm going to try that and see if I can't kick the Wellbutrin, as I'd much rather not be dependent on those meds, plus she says they make you gain weight as they increase your appetite. Hook, line and sinker - wellbutrin be gone, please!

So, I titled this WIW "Running Away" because that's just what I plan on doing. I want to start running. Mom's been talking about it a lot for the past couple of weeks. My Dad is an avid runner and had taken it back up the past few years, running in 5K's all the time. If he can do it in his early 60s, I can do it at almost 26. That said, my cousin Melissa has inspired us to enter a half marathon which will take place, I think, a year from January in BERMUDA. I've been wanting to go back for years, and I definitely didn't have a half marathon in mind when daydreaming of pink sandy beaches.... however, if I've learned anything from this experience it's that I have to push myself to do things I never thought I could, and reward myself at the same time.

What better way to motivate myself than by training for a half marathon with the knowledge that I'll get to relax, visit with family that I haven't seen in years, see everything from an adult point of view, and feel ACCOMPLISHED when I'm done? I can't say that I'm not scared to death, but what better time than the present to get myself motivated once again? And what motivation that is!

These are my thoughts, comments and concerns about running:

Negative: Holy crap. It hurts. I get so winded. My legs will cramp in like two seconds. Running the mile was my biggest fear in grade school. I just can't.

Positive: I got this. I can totally do it. I'm pretty sure I can train myself not to trip over my own feet. Magan can totally be my trainer, I just hope it doesn't cost us our best friendship! I can work up to running easily, I walk pretty fast. I'm carrying 65 less pounds, what's my excuse?

Plan: Quit talking about it and DO IT. Run away from problems. Run away. Not from the old you, but from the old body of you. Run out of that shell and into the body that you deserve and are working so hard for.

Sooo... wish me luck :)

Life is pretty good, I mean, I can't complain at all! I've been crazy busy, which I love, but I've also kept busy hanging out with the friends that I don't get to see often and that has been wonderful. I've always loved having friends with whom we can "pick up where we left off" and that's just what I've been doing as of late. I've also mended some broken friendships that were broken due to immaturity and well, boys getting the best of our hearts. This makes me realize how far from under the rock of insecurity I have come.

I am continually growing and learning from past mistakes. I am still dealing with a huge one and will be for probably the rest of my life. I appreciate all of the prayers, concern and support, but like I said, when the time is right, I'll talk about it. It's just not quite right yet... my apologies if you're still in the dark about the subject, but I'm probably just embarassed to tell you, so bear with me.

God continues to amaze me in the ways He is working in my life. Although my very best friend in the entire world (I have way too many bff's, but I'd have it no other way!) who has been my roommate for the past year - that's a record incase you're keeping track of the condo's habitants, is moving out :( It's for the best as she is only doing so for financial reasons, and I can't be mad at her for that!

I am excited that on the same day as this was decided, a dear sweet friend asked if I was still in need of a roommate in the near future. She and I will get along famously, and I'm excited about all the fun adventure we will have... especially in the kitchen since neither of us know how to cook, maybe we can learn together! God helps you out when you least expect it, and I know that He is looking out for all three of us by letting the cards fall where they did. How awesome! She is also the one who encouraged me to keep talking to the sweet boy who makes me smile on a daily basis, although he's across the country, he's always on my mind and a "beep beep" away.

In the spirit of annoying Facebook games, I am tempted to ask that some or all of you leave an anonymous (or not?) comment on this blog.... I do a LOT of talking, and although I do get wonderful feedback, only a handful of people of so many of you, do so. So I'd like to hear what you think... good, bad, ugly, pretty... what have you :)

I love you and I love me!

NMW,

<3