I'm Walkin on Sunshine...

One of the sweetest things anyone has said to me recently was "my song for you is officially: you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray." ~ Erin Lederer. Now I know I rave about how awesome my friends and family are, but when they say things like, that, who wouldn't want to boast about their amazing-ness? I, for one, eat it up! :)

Things on the homefront are good! I'm 22 days out and 15 pounds down.. plus bloated this week (tmi) so I'm not fretting about the scale not moving (woo!) That's a total weight loss of 35 pounds, so I'm not complaining. I'm extremely proud of myself and how far I've come just thus far. I can't say it's been all roses and daisies and no bumps or curves. But I can say that every emotional breakdown, every outburst, every tear has been worth every pound I have and will lose. Even if I lose my mind in the process, I'll always have my heart.

Speaking of hearts.. Mine is full of happiness. My cousin, Mary Beth, my Goddaughter's Mother had her second baby on Monday April 12! Mason Everett Brandon. He is soo precious and I love him to pieces already! I've been over to the hospital twice to bring dinner, hang out with Mama MB and just snuggle him! Yesterday he gave me a bit of a fit as I changed his tiny little diaper but Mommy assured me he needed to cry some, and he definitely cleared those lungs! Kaylee is taking to him well and already very protective of her baby brother, as I knew she would be! :) I love that sweet girl, she'll always be my bff!

My sister is definitely my other bff, she's the only person I know who can completely solve all my problems in less than 10 minutes. ;) She's amazing and of course, oh so wise. I've always taken for granted the fact that she's a psychologist, but these days I'm realizing just how convenient that can be! Haha. We had such an amazing time in D.C. visiting friends and the sites and celebrating life! It was so good to see Rachel and Ashley who I haven't seen in forever! Such sweet girls and wonderful hostesses! Hanging out with my sister reminds me why I've always been in a hurry to grow up... because I see how well she's turned out and I can't wait to get there!

I'm finally on pureed foods now, so I've been incorporating them slowly, or just chewing things up til they feel pureed to me! Last night we had scrambled eggs and grits at Mom & Dad's. Yum! Everything went down fine, but I feel like I ate a lot more than I thought I could... not sure if that's a good thing or not? But I guess so! I guess I won't be as hungry once I get a fill next week! I'm so excited about that! My first post-op appointment with Dr. Fernandez! Yay :)

I find myself smiling a lot these days. Some days less than others, but always a lot. When I recently hit a rough patch - mainly just mentally breaking down from the stress of all these changes - I took it out on one of the people I care about the most. My friends were there for me, whether they knew or understood what the hell was going on or not.. and in the end, everything was just about me blowing minor things out of proportion. Ah yes, that insecurity I so frequently speak of, struck again! I'm learning how to cope with it by acting more like an adult and less infantile, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me. Baby steps are the key to my heart.

Change is not something I deal with very well. At all. But I realize that every single change that I've gone through in my life has led me to the amazing place that I am now. Every single change was a huge obstacle at the time, but a small mole hill in retrospect. 25 years of making mountains from mole hills is not a habit that is easily changed.. but I'm working on it as I work on myself not only on the outside, but the inside too. I have every knowledge that my mind and soul need to keep up with the changes my body is making, but I refuse to let my heart change.. I can't tell you how many people have asked if I think my personality, etc. will change, and I can tell you with every ounce of confidence that I have (not much, but when mustered up, a lot!) that my personality didn't change into what it is now in the course of a year, and it won't change for the worst in the course of the next year. :)

I'm walkin on sunshine and it does feel good!

NMW. <3