It's nice to say hello to the 160s again! I haven't seen them since I was 16, going on 170! There's a picture at my parents house from our trip to Paris of myself, my mom and Jen in the Louvre when I was 15. I'd be tickled pink to be back at that weight, and although I have my days when I think that seems far fetched, today is not one of those days. It doesn't seem impossible. Before the procedure I honestly thought it'd take me the full 3 years to get to 165. I completely underestimated myself.
I do that a lot.. don't we all? I got caught up in seeing all of my flaws that I forgot to focus on my strengths. In doing so, I forgot that I actually do have strengths, so I've decided to list them for my own personal reference, just in case I forget again.
I could use my humor to diffuse a bomb.
I give hugs like nobodies business, fo free.
My heart is more open than Wal-Mart. Or a Dr. Quinn Medicine woman necklace.
Forgiveness is my middle name, right after Anne.
I have mad skillz when it comes to babies.
Everyday I work, I give more than I receive.
Everything I do in general, I give more than I receive.
Telling people something that will hurt them hurts me more.
I try my hardest to make every ones birthday memorable.
I am a terrible liar and I don't understand their purpose.
Sometimes I'm so easy going people probably think I don't care.
General rule of thumb: I laugh/smile more than I talk :)
I love what I love, and I love who I love with every atom of my being.
It's one thing to say it about myself, and believe it, but to hear it from other people means even more. All of the following things are snippets of things people have said that have touched me and kept me going. Mind you, with the exception of one or two, these are all private messages, e-mails, texts, etc. that only my eyes have seen, therefore I'm not going to put names with them! When I say that I'm eternally grateful all the time, maybe this will put into perspective the reason why....
"You look fantastic. I guess it may be a little weird coming from me, but I was blown away when I saw the difference you have made in yourself. Keep doin what you're doin and bein who you're bein." ~ probably the most touching, considering he was my first love <3
"I think you are such a strong individual and such an inspiration to so many women."
"Never forget how good you are on the inside and ultimately that's why people will remember you if they are real and true!"
"You are a tremendous person and are well on your way to finding your own happiness."
"Even if you're just rambling on about things the ways you put your words in order are great!"
"There's a huge change in your attitude that I can even see on Facebook!" ;)
"I just wanted to thank you for having the courage to spill your heart out for everyone to read because your words have meant so much to me."
"You look amazing and more importantly, you are feeling amazing about yourself."
"PS: You look AMAZING"
"Go look at my profile pic and then go look in the mirror! Love you!"
"You are a beautiful young woman in every way, and I'm so happy for you!"
"I am so impressed by your hard work!"
"I want you to know that talking to you helped me see a lot."
"You find a love and happiness in every venture or turn of your life. You always find a way to have fun and you love doing it."
"You are very poised within yourself. You're graceful in how you treat your friendships and loved ones. You are very protective of family and close friends and I think that places you high in the world. It puts you on a greater level because you have respect where most don't anymore."
"You smile all duh time" bahah. Ily.
I hope this give some perspective as to why I gush so much about the amazing support that I have. Because none of these people knew that the other sent the message. Each of these is from a different person, with the exception of 2. There are so many positive adjectives, it's overwhelming. It's hard to believe that so many people see the progress I've made. And this doesn't even count the public displays of acclamation, the compliments in passing, or the word of mouth encouragement.
It means a lot to me and it definitely voids the negative thoughts that I feel like are placed upon me on a daily basis... there are just some people that are never gonna like me, as cordial as I may be, and as hard as it is, I just have to accept it.
“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you” ~ Mark Twain
All of that said, I am so excited to be inching closer and closer to my goal, step by step, day by day... isn't that a theme song??
Step by step.. day by day.. a fresh start over, a different hand to play. The deeper we fall, the stronger we stay. And we'll be better the second time around. Wow... I definitely just channeled my inner adolescence!
I feel like this is really short for some reason. I'm going to get on my Letter to the Editor - 1 year post-op, I just haven't had the time! Hopefully before next WIW??
NMW,
<3
This picture makes me smile, because it was such an incredibly fun night seeing one of my favorite bands (Zac Brown Band) and dancing, being silly with one of my best friends!
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