Wednesdays Schmendnesdays

So usually I just blog whenever the mood hits... and particularly when the mood hits on a Wednesday these days... well nothing hit me today but the stomach bug. Like a ton of bricks! I woke up this morning and could feel the rumbly in my tumbly. Yuck.

It seems to have been going around a lot lately so I'm not surprised I got it. And, it could always be just from something I ate? Who knows! As my roommate put it, I just had a pretty "crappy" day. Bahah.

So... what everyones been waiting for... weigh in Wednesday results!!!

I've lost a total of..... drumroll please.....

1 pound since last week! Hahah. As of this morning I'm at 203. That 200 mark is reallyy daunting! I'm really not discouraged.. It's actually quite humorous to me only becuase it's the first week I've made an effort to update on my progress.. and I'm not complaining about 1lb in the least. Heck, a year ago, I would've probably gained a pound! But in my defense, I am terribly bloated this week :) and my weight always seems to drop just after my "fun week" as my dear B calls it! Haha.

I've still been walking almost everyday and it makes me feel great! I know that eventually I'll be able to start running, but that's a long way off.. I'm going to let my body adjust to all these changes a little more slowly I think.. and the fact that I can and do walk as much as I do now is a huge improvement.. why rush? My jiggly bits aren't ready for that quite yet :)

Mom and I are going to go check out the Y sometime this week or weekend which is awesome too - since a lot of people go there, like walking, I'll never be without a person to go with! Speaking of, I love love love the fact that people have come to me and asked to go walking with me. It warms my heart so much to heart people tell me that I'm an inspiration to them. Something I never imagined myself being in the weight department, that's for sure!

When people tell me that I've inspired them to start eating better or start working out, or try that diet one more time, it truly inspires me! I almost feel like one of those Biggest Loser contestants... what pressure they're under though, bless their hearts! I get annoyed when people talk about how much I'm "able" to eat or scrutinize my plate... the expectation for me to only be able to eat 3 bites is completely unrealistic but I realize it's quite an adjustment for everyone, I just don't like feeling like a freak show.. I think once I express this to people they understand better, but sometimes I feel like the more I talk about it, the more I open myself up to being under a microscope. It has its ups and it downs, but the ups outweigh the downs. :)

I'm editing this as of Thursday because my energy level is back up - I took an iron supplement this morning and it seems to be helping so far. I'm definitely going to keep taking it, in addition to my daily multivitamins, and see what happens... Mom keeps calling me a health freak b/c yesterday all I ate was Kashi w/soy milk until we went to dinner at Little Richards where I had bbq w/o the bun! Haha. It's a nice change of pace to be called a health freak - I'm okay with that stereotype!

My life's been going through a lot of changes lately. Some worse than others, some better. I'm starting to realize who cares, who doesn't, and who never did. And while some of that is painful, it's always nice to weed out the true from the fake every once in a while.. I think it's a healthy thing to do. And I've also realized that I'm a very all or nothing person. When I quit smoking - I just did it. I was done. I don't crave them anymore and they don't even cross my mind. When I decided to have the surgery, I was deadset on it. And I still am!

Now that I've decided to quit drinking, it doesn't even enter my brain anymore until someone mentions it, and even then I'm not driven by the fact that I need to drink to cope with my problems. I have Brian to thank for a lot of that. If it weren't for him calling me on my shit half the time, I wouldn't have even recognized that it was a problem or that it was coming between us. [Most days] I'd lay in front of a train for him, so quitting drinking doesn't seem all that bad :)

I've definitely found some healthy alternatives to eating/drinking myself to "happiness" - ha! I've found that walking when I'm stressed seriously does release endorphins. And the fact that I've recognized instead of rejecting that after all these years, makes me happy as well! Idk why I was so opposed to exercising, but every step is a daunting task when you're overweight, and I still have a long way to go, but every step I take is in the right direction now, rather than one into a brick wall, over, and over, and over again.

I've got some more "spring cleaning" to do as Ash puts it, but I think I'm at a good place right now. I'm simplifying my life and my activities and my overall self, and it feels great. I don't need constant entertainment and the only constant things I need in my life are the people who build me up and the little things they do without even knowing it, to make me smile!

I'm so excited that the pool is open now! I can get my tan on and get some vitamin d plus get some exercise - yay!

NMW <3