Double-Time Weigh In Wednesdayyy

So life has been hectic seeing as though I'm now an AUNT to a precious baby boy, Graham Nance Weaver! I'll update about that later - because everyone's all over me about updating for WIW!

As of this morning I am........

197! 2 lbs since two weeks ago when I last blogged! So 1 lb/wk - Not too shabby! I got a fill and I'm now at 5cc's. At my appt everyone was proud of me once again!!! Which felt great! :) They said I am now actually 1 month ahead of what they would expect from a gastric bypass patient whereas before I was right on par with what they would expect - either way, I'm finally an over-achiever in the weight department - that's a huge accomplishment for me!!! I have to remind myself of that every once in a while!

I also have to remind myself to eat sometimes - like, yesterday, I barely ate - not okay! That's probably why I didn't lose more! Today, I'm trying to get in some proten - sandwich meat and string cheese, etc. It's hard to eat as much with the fill which is fine by me!! But it's definitely feeling more real now - whereas before it was like, oh yeah, I have a band, but I can still eat! Now I don't get hungry as early, and I definitely fill up more quickly - just the way it's supposed to be! I guess I haven't really noticed it til now though because I've been so wrapped up in Graham and in life in general that I haven't even thought about my band! I have also neglected the gym - tsk tsk!

I started back at the Y last night after a bit of a hiatus! Oops - it wasn't intentional and I really missed going when I wasn't for a few days, just because I was so busy! But I can really feel the difference now - in my overall mood, etc. I'm just a much happier person after I've worked out - I mean, I know it's not rocket science that working out releases endorphins, but I like seeing the results of my hard work and I like it when the results are my good mood!!

I've definitely felt "weird" lately, like.. not myself. Idk what's up with me, but I know it has something to do with all the changes that my body is going through. It's affecting my hormones and my overall mentality. It's a lot more than just physical.

One thing one of my friends who had WLS warned me of was that I'd get attention from more men. Now, that sounded a little crazy to me at first, and she understood that. I mean.. who doesn't want to get more attention, even if you intend to give them no attention in return?? She explained that men who she felt would've never given her a second glance before, or who never did in high school - were suddenly peaking an interest. Ahhh - that makes sense. What pricks! And duh, we know some men are shallow, but luckily, not all of them are - all the time anyway. It's nice to be told that I'm "beautiful" and that I've "always been pretty" but that my personality has always been what sets me apart from all the rest - that means the world to me. Because while I'm learning how to accpet compliments from men and women in general - which takes some getting used to - I'm also learning how to take them from the ones who matter the most... the ones who hold me on a pedestal and expect and want great things for me! And the fact that they realize that no matter what I look like, and no matter whether or not I conform to society's wishes for my body, I'll always be me. I'll always be Becky - Aunt Becky for that matter ;)

It's funny to me, that even as I've received more attention from guys - it hasn't really matter to me at all. There's a great guy in my life, and although we've had our ups and downs, he's in it for the right reasons, as am I. And for once I feel secure, and I feel that he's not going anywhere.. I know I'm not. But I've never been able to trust anyone as much as I trust Brian. The fact that he's met the entire family + most of the extended family and hasn't run for the hills says a lot about his character as well :) And the fact that his daughter Anna met Kaylee and they were instant BFF's just melted my heart - okay, that, and him meeting and holding Graham on day 2... and a million other little things that he does everyday... he's just been wonderful, and I must boast on his behalf just a little!

It doesn't matter how small I get or how much a lose this week, next month or all together for that matter. I can't lose myself or I'll be miserable! I need a lot more support than I'm willing to admit, and by support I don't mean encouragement or compliments (those are great! keep 'em comin!).. I mean the little things day to day.. the heart to hearts and the phone calls just to say Hi... I sometimes feel like my life revolves around my lap-band and I'm forgetting that I've still gotta live life the way it was before all of this... and I don't mean my lifestyle, because that definitely had to change... I mean... my life. I don't want to get lost in my weightloss and thats kinda what I think is happening... which scares me a little.... but there's just a lot swimming around in my brain right now!

I could write for another hour, but there's a time and place for everything :)

PS - Jay, don't be offended for not being mentioned in this post - you'll have your 15 min of fame in my Graham post!


NMW <3