WIW WIW WIW... like a cop car.

Man, it's getting hard to be creative/not so monotone with this! As my brother in law pointed out, I kind of write this blog like I'm drafting a 5 paragraph essay! Hahah. I love his honesty/constructive criticism! Hence, I will tryyyy my hardest not to do so this week!

First things first:
Current weight: 193. No change. But that's okay!! Because I lost a good amount last week, and I'm definitely on track. I took full advantage of the holiday weekend and having done so well so far, I didn't even feel guilty for eating a cookie!!

Today I feel... sassy. Maybe it's the pink nail polish? Maybe it's the stupid grin I have on my face because I'm just so happy with life sometimes? Maybe it's the fact that I'm living my life for me for a change? Whatever it is, I'm gonna try to keep it up and keep up this momentum!

I finally feel like things are starting to click... like one ah-ha moment after another.. I get why things don't go my way when I think they should - and I realize that it's not always such a bad thing. I may have always wanted the picture perfect life of a 25 year old, but what I have failed to realize is that I'm living it! I have no responsibilities other than my mortgage and my bills. I have a stable career, an awesome boss, a best friend that I get along soo well with as a roommate, I can leave on a whim and go to the beach, I can sit at the pool and do absolutely nothing if I want to, and most importantly, I can have fun whenever I want! Other than ya know... 8-5 b/c those hours are not very fun-inducing!

It's an incredibly awesome feeling to know that I have so much at my fingertips and that I'm continuing this journey for me alone. For future me and for my future spouse and children and whatnot. I look at my sister and her little family and I wonder what it will be like someday when that's me. I look so forward to going through all the ups and downs of being a wife and a new mom and a provider for a new little being. And of course, that's what I've been surrounded with lately, so that's what's on my mind... but at the same time... it makes me appreciate where I am right now and realize that I have to live for the moment. "Carpe diem." That escapes me sometimes. But other times I remind myself, I'm only 25!

I'm also beginning to embrace the fact that I am a woman. I am a strong, beautiful woman or as E and I like to say, an SBW! And I never realized how much strength comes with. How much integrity I should have just because I'm a woman. I've always taken it for granted, but lately... I've realized that I should embrace such a thing. I'm not a feminist, but I respect them. I think they're bold and brazen and they just don't care what people think. I'm starting to learn not to care what people think myself.

It's funny because one of my coworkers told me before I had the surgery that I would be surprised how many girls would become jealous and dislike me the more I lose.. and once again.. someone who has been in my shoes was right! And once again.. I understood what she meant when she said that women are down right competitive, and when you're fat & jolly they don't see you as a threat. But the more I lose, the more of a threat I become I suppose. That's just silly if you ask me. I've been the same me I've always been for the past 6 months, and for 25 years before that! Buttt women are funny creatures, and I would totes be jealous of someone continually getting hotter ;)

The nicest thing anyone has said to me recently was when Magan said to one of our friends, "She's been busting her ass at the gym!!!" [as I showed off my mean muscles] and he said, "I don't care about all that." in the context that he has always thought I was pretty. And we both swooned. Hahah. It was priceless.

While I have enjoyed getting male attention the more feminist side of me is realizing that I don't need that attention to be happy. To be happy I need my family and my friends. I have to constantly remind myself of this, when there's a lack of attention from the male population and I start to feel sorry for myself. Really Becky? Really? Who cares if boy a, b or c doesn't like you? You're probably aiming too low anyway!

I'm out of the mentality that I need a boyfriend to make me happy because that is absurd. I don't. I need me to be happy and I need a roof over my head and a small portion of food on the table. I need a glass of wine after a bad day and my best friend to make me laugh til I snort which results in more laughing, until I cry.

I need to take more trips with my family and enjoy this time while Graham and Mason so teeny, and before Kaylee is too grown up to be my sweet little girl anymore because before we know it, the boys will be running wild and Kaylee will be too busy texting her bff's to give her Aunt Beck a sweet hug & kiss!

4th of July at Myrtle Beach reminded me of what really makes me happy. And that's my family. My family cares more about me than anyone in the world and they'd do anything to see me at my very best. I love love love them!

OH, my love for the YMCA has grown ten-fold. I just loveee it there! Seriously. Never thought I'd say that. Never thought I'd think that. But I literally could not wait to get back to the gym last night after a long weekend away! I was going to workout at the beach but I was sick with a nasty sore throat and cough :( But coming back was that much more exhillarating! By the end of my "circuit" my legs and arms were shaking! It was crazy. But awesome at the same time. The girls and I have started doing 10 minutes on the treadmill - I do the weight loss setting, then machines, then 10 minutes hardcore on the eliptical - where I always force myself to burn 100 calories! Whew! And then, much to my dad's surprise and disbelief, when we're done, we have SO much energy! It's ridiculous. Like, endorphin city! We just giggle and act silly the whole way home/the rest of the night!

Whew.. I didn't think I had that much to say today, but I guess I was wrong!

Here are some pictures from the beach! I can tell in my arms :)