WIW - pound it!

Finallyyyy, I lost.... a pound. Just one though. Just one little pound! But a pound in the right direction versus the wrong direction is one that is always welcome with open arms! I'm now at 182 and not deterred in the slightest! Can't wait to get to the 170s, because I live for milestones!

I have a feeling this half of the battle is going to be the hardest. With less to lose, and less frequent follow-up/fill visits.. I'm going to have to kick it into 5th gear to shed the next 50. And, I'm gonna need to have lots of patience.. that's for sure. Patience has never been a hard task for me, I'm fairly well adjusted. But I get bored reallyy easily. I get tired of routines and structure, but sometimes those things are necessary, i.e. gym regimen. Instead of going to the Y last night, Mom and I walked around the neighborhood and all the way down to Bermuda Run West's entrance. A 2 mile hike when measured. It was fun! I even found a Calloway golf ball for Dad :)

A couple of things Lap-Band related have been bothering me lately though. At my last appointment Fuzz asked if I'd had any problems with hairloss. Umm... no... I shed hair like crazy so idk how it could be much worse. But then, at the pool on Saturday, a lot more than a little bit came out when I took my ponytail down. It was weird. I'm going to mention this at my next appointment, and find out what to do to prevent my locks from leaving me!

Also, idk what the deal is, but I've had a hard time keeping down my lunches. Never dinner, just lunch. It's gross and way TMI (skip to next paragraph weak stomached weight watchers!) but if I eat too fast, as I usually do with a rushed lunch hour, I get all stopped up. Things just don't want to pass through. And duh, I know this, but sometimes I just forget. It's easier said than done to chew 30 times and take 30 minutes to eat. So, sometimes, if I feel like somethings not digesting, instead of walking around, I excuse myself and run to the bathroom only to cough up said blockage. It's gross. And I hatee it when it happens. But sometimes the simplest things, like bbq which I love and refuse to not eat (carefully) can get stuck. It sucks. But it's only happened a couple of times, and I think there's definitely more to it, but I'll just have to discuss these things with Fuzz next time I see him. Meanwhile I just need to be smarter and more careful about eatling lunch!

So this is week 3 of my new job. And let me tell you... it is wonderful! Matt just asked me in the elevator if I missed my old job yet. "Not at all!" was my appropriate response. He said he knew I was bored sometimes (Oh, sweet, gentle giant, you fail to realize that it takes me an hour to do the work that you give me.) but assured me that we would find more tasks for me to do. Which is great. I can do anything as long as you give me instructions so hopefully they can utilize me in a lot of different ways!

I'm bored with life in general kinda.. I mean. Don't get me wrong, I hateee drama. But when there's none, I get bored. I kinda feel like I've fallen off the friend wagon with some of my friends, and that makes me sad. I expressed it to a couple of them yesterday, out of self pity, and just kinda told them that I felt like I've been left out lately. Which I totally understand, but it didn't used to be that way, and I'm not sure what changed... I mean, I understood before when they told me that it was because of a certain person, but that's not an issue these days, soo.. it's just me? Idk. I'm definitely feeling sorry for myself, and pms-ing, so I'm blaming it on that.

I hate hate hate feeling sorry for myself, because my Mother raised me better than that. I am incrediblyy grateful for my friends and family and the ones who go out of their way to help and support me, especially. But like I said, when people quit inviting you to do things or to hang out, you start to notice, and you start to get bummed out. I still feel guilty about falling asleep last Friday when Ash & Kelly wanted to hang out, but after a long week my body just completely shut down. I think it needed that evening of rest, and luckily it was a longg weekend at that!

I spent much of the weekend workin on my tan! There's something to be said about a tan. It makes you feel soo much better. I'll never be caught without sunscreen after my Dad's bouts with skin cancer and my excruciating experience of sun poisoning from the lake last year, but something about soaking up the healthy rays and getting all bronzed up just does wonders for ones self esteem!

I even ventured out in one of my sister's old bikinis for a couple of those days, until my lily white tummy, even with sunscreen, started to get too pink for my liking/comfort! It was quite a test of confidence and I didn't feel as whale-ish as I thought I would! Eek. I told myself I had to muster up the courage atleast once this summer so that I can have something to look forward to/motivate me to have a bikini bod for the entire summer next year :)

Life is moving along as it should, but my gosh, I'm ready for vacations and exciting trips and whatnot! I love having things to look forward to, and I hate when they're over, I just get so anxious waiting for it to be time for them to happen. Don't we all?

There are a million things on my mind that I could go on and on about. About how I am starting to respect myself more and more, and expecting the same in return. About how I hope that I'm on the right career path. About how I am terrified about silly things. About how sad it makes me to see happy couples and wondering if I'm doomed to be alone for all my days. About how money sucks and is most definitely the root of all evil. And on.. and on.. and on. But, I won't! Life is good and I'm happy that things are simple for now!

NMW,
<3